I don't think I've ever been more confused in my life right now.

seriously.

It's not a big deal till you lose it.

Heh.. No I'm not talking about virginity. Or whatever else you all are thinking of.

I'm talking about that trust that you have with your parents. You take it for granted till suddenly it's gone and you realize everything fucking sucks. Having it is nice, so everyone who still has some amount of trust with their parents, you are lucky asses.

I didn't really lose my parents trust as much as I could have. But I lost a good portion of it.

So it sorta sucks now.

Whatever?

Eh. Today sucks.

Yesterday wasn't very fun either.

I have nothing to type about...

What the hell does exanimated mean?

Heh. Whatever, apparently it's my mood.

I'm not smoking anymore, just thought i'd let everyone know of my fucking status, I've decided I don't like it. In fact I hate it. There's nothing fun about it, nothing glamorious, all I feel is paranoia paranoia, everyone is gonna get me, everyone's gonna hurt me. Why the hell would I force myself to feel that way?

Yea. My point exactly.

So fuck that shit from the bottom of my heart.

Broken heart.

It's not cool everyone. Very un-cool.

Just thought i'd let you know.

Yea, I'm listening to depressing Dashboard Confessional songs right now <-- which is almost all of them..

I hate when people you don't even kno make you feel bad...

It's not a big deal or anything but then you think about it later and go, 'that was really mean...'

It's okay I don't let stupid mean people make me cry.

I was sitting on the Alex bus today.. and apparently the middle schoolers just got out.

What a bunch of mean little bitches! swear to god. the kids are so fucking rude, they feel the need to be mean and loud and obnoxious to everyone around them and disturb everyone. I wanted to beat their faces in, I was so mad. They act like they are all cool and shit, augh, i will beat their faces i swear.

I take my anger out on small children!

I didn't try to say anything to the little retards. I've learned from experience that those kids are the most vicious bastards on the face of the planet. The worst part is they're stupid vicious bastards and you can never get common sense or anything intelligent into a stupid bastards skull so there is no point in fighting them at all.

I know why I got angry just now. My songs switched to Greenday. haha. GREENDAY MADE ME A ANGRY CHILD.

anyway.

I'm done.. still kinda hurt, but bye bye.

Neh, I'm bored.

I'm gonna do some quizzes! when I find some!






HAHAHA omg that's so wrong XDD

What insane organization will you join? by spoonsrus
You will join the:
How much will the members hate you?: 92%
How many days until you join?	383
username
real name
color	RedOrangeYellowGreenBluePurpleBrownBlackWhitePink
age
you will get kicked out on	April 12, 2133
you will get kicked out because	you murdered the leader's ferret
you will go into hiding and change your name to	Bradon which means 'salmon'
then you will move to	some tree house
were you will	kill yourself by drinking too much bleach
Quiz created with MemeGen!

hehe..



YES >D

How people rate you by misssmanson
name
face: 30%
body: 34%
clothes: 61%
personality: 66%
madness: 30%
ambitions: 65%
in bed: 2%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

That whole quiz is bogus..

Kay i'm bored again.. I'm gonna mope around my house...

It keeps raining.. and raining.. and raining...

hey..
guess who got.. on

ME..
YES..
me.. But it's hidden. Can you find it?

Look really hard. My name really isn't on there. but i'm there. RIGHT THERE.
35 BUCKS to draw THAT cell fone. RIGHT there.
35$ AND on a Business Journal of Northeastern Pennyslvania.

It's not big. But it's a start. It's a start, yes it is.

Swear to God on my mothers not-yet to be grave and if you don't believe me you can e-mail Mr. Andrew Ohrman of ajohrman@paonline.com and ask, "I'd like to inquire the name of the artist that drew that cell phone for your most recent article in the Business Journal."

He'd say my name. Unless you freak him out.

WHOO HOOO
AND I GOT A GRAM! <-- random

What do you do when everything you say is mis-credited? Everything you ever comment about, anything you ever say is blown off like it doesn't matter.

You can't help but take it personally right? You may deny it but it hurts, and it doesn't really leave, doesn't really stay. But it's always in the back of my mind. Is that being too sensitive? Letting little things bother me too much?

If every time you accidentally say something that's a little off, or stupid, it's thrown back at you harder then it left?

If you can't have an opinion in anyone's eyes should you just shut up and be quiet? Or try to fight for recognition?

When you feel like an abused dog who just keeps getting kicked and kicked do you try to attack and fight for your right or just turn into a cold hard bitch (literally) (figuratively)?

I wish someone had the answers... because I sure as hell don't.

yea. You see that post below?
I still feel like that.
le Zoloft.

So... I have nothing to write about...
I was inside all day.. kinda sitting there thinking about my life. I don't think i've ever been more depressed in my entire life. There are those times when I have a reason to be depressed, like something happened to me that was bad, or i'm pmsing or something to the effect of being a teenager. But no.. I was just sitting there, nothing really wrong, nothing really right, I was thinking about how worthless I was, how stupid I was, how friendless I was. How i'm never going to achieve my goals in life, how i'm no better then my mom, how getting high scared the shit out of me and now that all I can think about, all I can think about is all the fucking thoughts that few thru my head at once. How i'll never get a boyfriend, how i'll always be a fat lazy ass who wants a boyfriend so bad but won't even join sports or go to the gym to get in shape. How maybe i'm just meant to be alone, how i should be caring about other things, but i'm not.

my dad is still talking about his work and how it's gonna maybe fire him or relocate him to england, decision is in april. pretty damn cool, but so completely and morbidly not. I don't think I want to be inside my house anymore... I don't want to ever have an entire day to think about myself.. woe is me!

People are always saying do what you think makes you happy. I've realized I'm not happy unless other people are. so why can't I just do that?

If I'm so fucking fat and if that's what makes me so fucking sad then why don't I just go to the gym and work out?

If me being so shy is my goddamn problem then why don't I just get out of my fucking self and stop being so shy?

If i'm so anxious to hear the opportunity to knock why don't I work harder to hear it sooner?

the answer to all of those questions is becuz I'm Danielle and I suck.

Lost a friend that i've had for forever. becuz i suck.

threw up today because I couldn't keep food down, becuz i suck.

I'm telling absolutely no one other then maybe kimiko on this, becuz I suck.

I feel really shitty T_T and I don't know why...
Makes me wanna cry!

T__T WAHH I'M PMSing!

that makes me feel better. knowing that i'm pmsing.

Yay i made a website and now i have a host

muchos joy

http://xromanismx.exsanguis.net/

<3 layout :D

Here's a long ass quiz... ALL ABOUT ME :D! yes, ur interested. And if your not interested you know you wanna take the quiz.

Current mood: Um.. Really.. stagnant and tired and trippy all at the same time. So Shitty.
Current music: My Chemical Romance, HIM, and Franz Ferdindad
Current taste: Chinese Food (noodles with beef)
Current hair: Ugly, because I just got it cut and the bangs are fucking short. Bottom half highlighted blonde.
Current clothes: Pajama pants and a really tight... pull string shirt thing.. I had nothing else to wear.
Current annoyance: Uh. School 2mm
Current smell: Chinese Food.
Current thing I ought to be doing: Studying for a huge World History test.
Current windows open: Just Lj
Current desktop picture: My chemical Romance
Current favorite band: MCR >D
Current book: Drawing Blood by Poppy Z Brite, The Amber Room by Steve Berry, and Dracula by Bram Stroker
Current cd in stereo: HIM, MCR, FF
Current hate: My little sister.

Smoke?: No way hosay. unless you count weed as smoking? Hm, broad question.
Do drugs?: Yea. ONCE oo, now I can know what I'm talking about when I talk about drugs. WHATNOW?!
Have sex?: All the time ^_^ all my friends kno i'm such a huge whore O.o (jay/kay)
Give oral sex?: Noo sir
Receive oral sex?: Hhahaa hehe...
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Yeap.
Remember your first love?: Yeash.
Still love him/her?: It's still goin' strong T_T
Read the newspaper?: Sometimes
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yep.
Believe in miracles?: Sure
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: No ^.^
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: To a certain point
Consider love a mistake?: Not necessarily
Have a favorite candy?: Chocolate
Believe in astrology?: Kinda.
Believe in magic?: Do ghosts count?
Believe in God?: I believe in the almighty.. dood.. way up high.
Have any piercings?: My ears are pierced and their's two on the left side.
Have any tattoos?: Nope
Hate yourself: Extreme distaste, i'm too much of a chicken to hate myself all the time, but sometimes I really do hate myself.
Have a secret crush?: Yes.
Do they know yet?: Don't think so.
Have a best friend?: Yea. A bunch.
Wish on stars?: Shooting stars
Care about looks?: Yea.

=Love life=

First crush: Um.... it's a secret
First kiss: o_o does a kiss on the cheek count?
Ever been in love?: Maybe?
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
Do you believe in "the one?": No

=Juicy stuff=

Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: Almost
Have you ever been intoxicated?: Yes NOT FUN NOT FUN NOT FUN.
Shy to make the first move?: Shy ._.

--APPEARANCE:--

Hair: blond-ish.
Eyes: blue gray
Height: 5'6"

--LAST THING YOU:--

Bought: A Chiptole Vegetarian Burrito
Ate & Drank: Noodles from Beijing Beijing.
Read: My World History class.
Watched on tv: Uh.. dont' watch much, usually vh1

--WHO DO YOU WANT TO:--

Kill: No one really.
Get really wasted with: Um. NO ONE CUZ IT'S THE LAMEST FEELING IN THE WORLD TO GET WASTED. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU COCKSUCKERS?!
Avoid: My teachers

--LAST PERSON YOU:--
Talked to: My sister.
Hugged: My brother >.<
Instant messaged: Thien

--WHERE DO YOU:--
Eat: In my kitchen
Cry: In the shower

--HAVE YOU EVER...:--

Dated one of your best friends?: no
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: I think.
Drank alcohol?: Yes
Done drugs?: Yes
Broken the law?: Yep.
Broken a bone?: Nope
Played Truth Or Dare?: Yeap
Kissed someone you didn't know?: Nope
Been in a fight?: Nope
Come close to dying?: We're all close to dying.

--WHAT IS:--

The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: Beethoven? I duno, I have them all because I like them and I listen to them even if people think it's 'embarrassing'
Your bedroom like?: Nasty mold in the shower and like.. the trashcan is over flowed. I share it with my sister.
Your favorite thing for breakfast?: French toast…..yummy in my tummy….
Your favorite restaurant?: ummm…idk..

--RANDOM QUESTIONS--

What's on your bedside table?: A mirror, a dresser, a doll, my remote to my stereo
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?:I don't raid at night.
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: Um.. I duno. A sad one.
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: I don't think I'd want plastic surgery, I'd get lipo.
What is your biggest fear?: Dummies, and the dark.
What feature are you most insecure about?: My arms and my forehead.
Do you ever have to beg?: Yep.
Are you a pyromaniac?: Yes. Everyone is, they deny it, but they are.
Do you have too many love interests?: no?
Crushes?: Yes.
Do you know anyone famous?: No..
Spontaneous or plan?: both
Do you know how to play poker?: no
What do you carry with you at all times?: my brain. Mostly my cell phone.
What do you miss most about being little?: Not having to worry about money
Are you happy with your given name?: Yea, it's cool.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?: um... 100000 million, cuz it'd be really easy and i'd wanna jack alot of money.
What color is your bedroom?: Purple
What was the last song you were listening to?: The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You by MCR
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: Um, I don't really trust myself. which is sad.
Do you think you're cute?: No.
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?: Yea.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: A shy person, I'm a bitch now.
Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?: I spent more time with my friends
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: "THEBOYSARESOKUTELOOKAT'EMPOWERTOYOU!!!!" and "o.o*gasp* they're lesbians?"

I made a MCR icon. yay.

uhhhhhhhh

not much to say.

Other then it's 6 o'clock in the morning and I was afraid to go to sleep. Why was I afraid to go to sleep THE ENTIRE NITE?! wtf is wrong with me? I don't sleep anymore. As cool as that sounds, it's not really cool at all.. because I hate the feeling of being EXTREMELY DEAD TIRED but so awake and jittery. It hurts. I don't like it. Then you can't think or do anything productive that requires thinking.

I went to the doctor on thursday and got a check up. The acid in my stomach acts up to stress. So they gave me two bottles of medication... just like the movies, the little orange ones with your name on it and the twisty white cap. The medication makes my heart beat like hell. It's suppose to be for my stomach.. I duno why it's doin' it to my heart.

I watched a movie with my buddy danielle today, <-- not .. me.. another danielle who's my friend who has the same name. <-- not insane for not going to sleep the entire nite.

Life as a House. Good movie. Hayden Christensen. He's hot. haha, he wears make-up and is a hard-c0re badass druggy who sucks guys off for 300 dollars once a week.
O_o

haha, i was amused overall.

the movie was really good tho. I recommend it for anyone who wants to watch a sad, yet extremely good, well written movie.

It's great.

I just realized what I'm doing. I'm waiting for the sun to rise so I can sleep. Not good. I hate sitting here in my house when it's dark and all creepy... it's so quiet. and my stuff in my kitchen makes weird noises.

The power has been glitching lately, like crazy. I duno what's doin' on.

I was sitting in my room at 3 and all the sudden all the power went out.. scared the shit out of me because my room was like extremely dark.

OKAY i'm done, typing nothing
go to the chaos tour in april. :D it'll be great.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
~~

Yea, I like the lryics to that song wayy too much...

o_o i feel really empty and weird and loser-ish and totally completely fullfilled all at the same time.

>_< I don't like it....

I DONT' UNDERSTANNNNNDDD ~Brick.

Stole this quiz from kimiko.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks. You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent. An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer. Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best. You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

yes! I'm spatial. whatever the hell that means. I'm at my friend Jasmine's house, fun crap. So Yea. I'm bored.
YES i got comments on my story at fictionpress.net. i'm happpy i wanna write more.. but all my stuff is at home. FUCK.
oh well. I'll be fine.

You Have A Type A- Personality

A- You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Dooo dee dooo dee dooo.

To sell or not to selll that is the question...

So I'm sitting here, avoiding doing my chores, because I really don't feel like doing them.. nor do I feel like.. doing my homework.. or anything else.. I just wanna listen to music...

sort of depressed...
you can tell by the dots...
. . . <-- those.

Moodswinging. I hate mood swinging. Moodswinging should fucking die and burn in hell.

Gerard luks nice in my icon that I stole from someone else. I'm fond of it.

Wrote a poem.. to go with my unbeatable first one that i love wayyy too much... http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1814328 that one.. That one is "My Type A Personality"
the one I wrote to go with it is "His Type B personality."
kinda sad ._.

In his corner, he lay on his bed
In his dreams, all he has is tomorrow to dread.
An empty cage in gloom of the corner
His heart didn’t bleed enough to warn her.
Maroon blood drips across rough stone
Red waterfall’s diminishing into the unknown.
His tears cried, staining where he died
On that empty day.
If he forgets, his sadness stops the regrets.
On the marble of his grave,
He says sorry for the bird he couldn’t save,
And lying next to him is the iron cage set to rot with him, always and forever.

Type A was better. but this one is cool too.. I like the last few lines?

I duno.

I'm depressed. Lame.

GOD i'm RETARDED.
I was suppose to study for a world history test... but i didn't.. I wrote stories instead.. x_x <-- dumbass.

hey

look..

(A) I want you to recommend one of each to me:
1. A movie
2. A book
3. A musical artist, song or album

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal; copy and paste this, and let you friends ask you anything

do it do it do it.

(ahaha, i post even tho no one reads this, I'M AVOIDING HOMEWORK *for anyone who cares*) Good lord O_o i just bought HIM: Razorblade Romance with my christmas money..
>.< ahh...
>.< omgah..
the cd is amazing >.> and I adore Ville's voice.. It's like he's tryna seduce everyone who listens to the songs... T.T it's beautiful and seductive... it's great. Totally my kinda music... I just hate how I find these bands so late... I feel like such a.. comformist? They have all this merchandise and shit..
I guess I should just like the band as a band and get over the fact that everyone else likes them too? <--hypocritical?
I like all my other cd's (my chemical romance...queen, pink floyd, yellowcard, etc) I thought I loved them *_* I didn't know what love was untill I listened to this cd.
>_< it's just so good "almost orgasmatic" ~salad fingers
rusty spoons.

Anyway..
seductive...songs.
*listens to it more*

He goes so deep when he sings then really high... ahhh...
and the lyrics are soo.. eee... I would die if I saw them in concert prolly faint or something...

WOW

I'm backkk.....

That vacation suckedd.....

Can't blame my parents for trying.....

I'll talk to you all later......

I have a huge project to do 2mm......


FUCKING ENGLISH TEACHER.
WHOTHEHELLGIVESA250POINTASSIGNMENTOVERTHEBREAK?!
ass.

Gifts of Life (hence the season):

Hate is the gift we know is coming and we can't avoid, but when it's over it has a chance to leave.
Greed is the gift we deny we have.
Jealously is the gift we loath.
Sadness is the gift we think about most.
Betrayal is the gift that hurts the most.
Emotion is the gift of many multitudes depending on the person.
Friendship is the gift we cherish and hold close.
Happiness is the gift that lasts the shortest but remains in our hearts for forever.
Love is the gift we most adore and most fear to recieve, and whether the outcome is good or bad it's held in our hearts for the rest of our days.

blahh, the one day i'm feeling creative I can only write it in my journal because i'm.... at my cousins in florida and i'm really itchy because i smell bad from the plane ride aughh
I HATE FLYING.
but..
but....
:) i got to sit next to a lovely nice college guy :D away from my familia! YAY
ahha, he didn't have a computer so i could get his IM or e-mail ._. and I thought it would be kinda weird to ask for his fone #. He boxxed ahah, so his.. hands were broken I had to help him open his soda.... He goes to ASU! Lives here in Florida. Yeah, he was nice, he had pretty eyes O_O maybe i'll see him again..
._. or not..
bye bye one serving friend T_T this always happens to me on planes I meet the most awesome people then never see them again...

GOD I SMELL >_<

haha. *sprays self with bucket of perfume*.. thats.. better..

whoo hoo i feel great rite now, random stupid things that happen in arizona are still bugging me..

OH yea, I forgot my fucking retainers. that's damn smart..

I'm gonna die if I have to get my braces back on. I'm gonna cry.. I can't go two weeks without my retainers >_< holy shit. damn.. damndamndamn, DAMN

kay, i don't want my aunt looking over my shoulder...
anyone in arizona wanna send me my retainers via mail?? *cries*